Welcome, friends! Thanks for taking a peek in our homeschool today! We are honored you’re here. Today, we are exploring where and when to possibly pull back as home educators.
Finding Harmony in the Homeschool Routine
Educators sometimes cut off learning in order to “start” it. Children and adults alike are often oblivious to each others’ worlds. As such, it can be easy for the adult educator to squelch organic learning in favor of a prescribed lesson without even realizing it.
The heavy-footed hiker, we noisily thud into the meadow without regard for what the gentler species may be engaged in.
Of course, this has been greatly discussed as it relates to the traditional school model of wrenching children out of a classroom or from a particular subject in order to whisk them away to another, often just as the students were “settling in” or “just starting to get it.” But make no mistake, we home educators sometimes fall prey to this pitfall as well. Or at least this home educator does.
We finish loading that dishwasher, folding that stack of laundry, or signing off on that way-longer-than-expected phone call and announce in a frantically blind huff to the entire neighborhood (or in our case, neighborwood), “Ok! Let’s start school!” In other words, we leap before we look . . . or listen. Perhaps the kids were jumping off the coffee table or squabbling. It was a long phone call, after all. But maybe, just maybe, our little learners had already involved themselves in some academic pursuits for the day. And maybe in our rush to “get this day going already” . . . we missed what was already going this day.
Perhaps a theatrical performance was in the works before Mom announced a “take-sixty” break, also known as a Language Arts lesson.
Maybe an atlas, game of Stratego, or a puzzle had been laid out on the living room floor.
Perhaps a nose had been poked deep into the leaves of another world, or a pencil had been busily creating one.
Let’s take care to respect our children in their natural habitat, acting out of their God-given instincts for learning, dreaming, and creating.
Of course, there is a time, place, and perhaps the necessity for processed, pre-planned learning opportunities commonly referred to as “lessons.” And we may need to interrupt our children from time to time in order to have them. In my reading and personal experiences as an educator, however, I discover again and again that manufactured lessons cannot begin to rival the organic discoveries of the inspired, curiosity-driven child.
So, I invite you to join me in slacking off a little! Ok, I’m half joking. But I ask, could it be possible to walk that line between “traditional” education and laissez-faire “unschooling”? Cue the chorus of, “Hey, teacher! Leave those kids alone!” Can we create a sort of hybrid of these perspectives and methods in our homeschools? I believe yes. And for me this begins with observation. If we utilize lessons prescriptively, maintaining flexibility in order to not continually wrench our kids out of self-led learning endeavors, we can take a big step toward a deeply inspiring and enriching home-education for our children.
For me, this is as simple as observing what my children are engaged in prior to ringing that school bell, so to speak, and cultivating a willingness within me to put off starting formal lessons ─for five, ten, or sixty minutes─ in order that I do not trample organic, love-led learning. Sometimes, this may even mean cancelling lessons for the day.
I love this quote by Durenda Wilson in The Unhurried Homeschooler: “Cover their education with prayer, and remember that every child develops at a different rate. They are learning all the time, long after the books are closed.” I hold to the truth in this claim. But may I be so bold as to add just a little something to the end of it? I propose this little amendment: “They are learning all the time, long after the books are closed…” indeed, long before they are even opened.
So, with that, I invite you to join me adding that breath, listening before we leap, backing away slowly, letting the schedule slide a little, and brewing yourself a cup of tea. Hey, somebody’s gotta do it.
For the love . . .
14 Perfectly Valid Reasons to Put Off Starting Homeschool Lessons!
*Note: These are just 14 of our family’s reasons for pushing lessons back from time to time. Some of them may not resonate with you or work with your kids’ learning style and/or your family’s homeschool style. You may also have your own valid reasons that didn’t make our list, so please share them in the comment section at the end of the post! 😀
#1. When your child is sick.
One of the perks for us homeschool parents is that we get to skip all that sick-day stress most parents have to deal with. As if having a sick child isn’t stressful enough, most parents also have to take on the added headaches of make-up homework and not falling behind all while their children feel crumby! No fun. Let’s not fall into the trap of thinking we have to do the same. I’ve often gotten caught up in my own subservience to the schedule but I’ve learned the hard way again and again that it’s just not worth it. We can power through with the sniffles but if the symptoms are beyond that, we readily take a sick day or three!
As far as it goes with our family, we would rather tackle two lessons when we’re fresh than one when we’re fuzzy.
#2. When the day is just too blooming beautiful.
Ok, you Californians and Floridians can skip reading this one. Obviously, in warm-weather climates, the days are usually sunny and warm, so skipping school for such conditions would become a nearly all-year affair. No, I’m talking to my hibernating, northerner friends. Represent! After four to six months of perpetual cold and snowfall, when that first warmish day arrives and here comes the sun, doo doo doo doo . . . I say call a holiday! You and your kids will be grateful. And then . . . when those last days of glorious warmth visit you in October before the gray settles, join us for a hooky reprise.
Playing hooky to enjoy the glorious outdoors sends a very powerful message to our children: school is not the enemy, nor is it a kill joy. Indeed, we are all just babes in the woods, and living and breathing in them is a lesson in and of itself.
#3. When your child is voluntarily reading to himself, actively perusing a stack of books, or asks you to please read just one more chapter!
Insert obvious caveats for total book worms. I get it. Arguably, however, if we have a child who is an avid reader, our main academic goal is complete. Did you get that? More or less, your main job as an educator is in the books. Well done, Mama! For when a child loves to read, the entire world, academic and otherwise, is at his fingertips. And depending on what is being read, she may very well be better off undisturbed than commissioned to formal lessons. It is my belief anyway that we should tread lightly when our children are discovering the world through the pages of books.
#4. When your older child is reading aloud to a younger sibling.
“If we would only consider the subtle strengthening of ties which comes from two people reading the same book together, breathing at once its breath and each giving the other unconsciously his interpretation of it, it would be seen how, in this simple habit of reading aloud, lies a power too fine to analyze, yet stronger than iron in welding souls together.” -Elisha Schudder, The Riverside Magazine for Young People
Reading in our home, as you have probably gathered, is a sacred activity. I will not interrupt the Captain from reading aloud to Goldilocks for almost anything. Barring a fire, flood, or incredibly time-sensitive appointment, I will put everything else off before trampling a sibling read-aloud, and that includes “starting school.” This is because I consider reading to be one of, if not the most enriching pursuits that our children can engage themselves in. And there’s staggering evidence to support my convictions on the matter.
Add to the academic gains for both reader and little listener the fact that the two are developing a deep connection, and you have a perfectly holistic homeschooling occupation on your hands ─a heart, mind, and soul celebration.
Why in the world would I interrupt my children when happily reading together in order to get that spelling, grammar, or mathematics sheet done faster? This, friends, is a counterintuitive absurdity. In truth, formal lessons are in every way inferior to joyful, self-directed learning. We’ve all heard “let a sleeping dog lie.” May I suggest a new adage for us home educators to apply: “Leave a reading child be.”
#5. When the house is falling apart.
If the house is a wreck on a weekly or daily basis, then obviously the routine needs tending. Even for the tidiest of us, however, days and weeks come when the mess wins. You return home from a vacation, plunge right into a full schedule, and those dang bags forget to unpack themselves! Just me? Guests leave and with them a wake of neglected housework. Whoops. Sickness comes and seems to cause a sneezing attack for the entire house as well as its inhabitants. Uggg.
Learning atop a life raft, floating on a sea of mess, is simply not inspired or joyful. It’s ok. Head for shore. Take a day. Take a week if you must. Involve the kids. Teach them the skills of caring for the home. Clean up and push back out again into calm, clear waters in a day or three.
#6. When your child is falling apart.
There have been math lessons where our son has seemed like he forgot to count. There have been phonics lessons where our daughter seemed to have forgotten the alphabet. Many times on both accounts, I just forged ahead, stubborn woman that I am. Isn’t that what we’re supposed to do? Suffer through? Well, suffer we did through those occasional lessons with strange tears or bizarre outbursts until my own exasperation inevitably met it’s match and my white flag was thrown, calling it a wrap.
The first few times this occurred, I felt the failure. But every single time, something amazing happened and almost always on the very next day. The struggled, suffered lesson became a sudden spring breeze to frolic lightly in. It’s positively baffling. I had to see it many times over to finally understand that there is simply no purpose to teaching a child with a mental or emotional wall between them and their lesson. And in all likelihood, the wall will be gone tomorrow!
I remind every educator as I remind myself: do not attempt to teach a child’s mind when his spirit cannot carry him. A child must be well, in body as well as spirit, to learn well. Oh, and never give a child a lesson when he is hungry or sleep-deprived. (The same is true for the educator.)
#7. When you are falling apart.
We all know the saying “when mama’s happy, everybody’s happy.” It may annoy many, but I think we all know that it’s at least a lot true. And it is the same for educators. When I was a teacher, it was obvious why certain classes around me succeeded or failed in turn. Look no further than the front of the classroom, my friends. Grumpy teachers have grumpy students. Apathetic teachers have apathetic students. Happy, enthusiastic teachers cultivate happy, enthusiastic learners. If you’re not excited, delighted, engaged… make no mistake, neither will your students be.
So, let’s take a break when we need one. Let’s nurture our own minds so that we are inspired to nurture the little ones entrusted to us. It truly is the dearest trust in the world.
#8. When your kids are playing uncommonly well together.
I know, I’m really a sucker mom. 😆 But here’s the thing … I’m a mom, not just an educator! We parents work so, so hard to quell arguments and hopefully ignite the fruits of the spirit in our children. Fights and disputes gnaw away at us day to day like a teething puppy on the table leg. So, when our children are playing together and we see the love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, and more popping up like crocuses in a spring thaw, how can we possibly put a stop to that?
Here’s a little something to help them play: Our Book-It Play Jar! This little printable has made a huge difference in our home during sibling playtime to cut out the arguing over what to play by having the drawing of it decide for them!
#9. When your child is engaged in artwork, a creative project, or is singing, dancing, or music-making.
Ok, I realize some artsy children never stop doing these things. So, similarly to how we must amend our rules with book worms, artistically-led children will have to be cut off fairly often from their creative pursuits in order to hit the academic lessons. However, if your child does not lean heavily in the direction of the arts, allowing some extra space and grace during bouts of creativity can go a long way for both a child’s education and well-being.
You can read more of our thoughts about the arts in education here: From REPRESSION to SELF-EXPRESSION; utilizing the arts to restore mental and emotional well-being!
#10. When your kids are cleaning the house, cooking in the kitchen, working in the garden, or engaged in any other practical life, skill-building activity.
Around here, we call it Skill School. And make no mistake, we consider skill-building as essential to education as reading and math. For one thing, skills are empowering. Capability is a gift for any child or adult. For another, skills set kids apart for the workplace or that college resume. And then, of course, there’s the whole bridging of the gap that’s currently taking place between white-collar careers and blue-collar careers. Anyone who has hired a contractor in the last few years knows what I’m talking about. Plumbers are making more than teachers these days, and artisans can often sell their wares for more than a psychologist can for therapy.
Power is changing hands. So, let’s teach our kids to use them… their hands that is! For ideas on implementing “Skill School” into your homeschool curriculum, from cooking to gardening to leathercraft, check out all our skill-building posts here: Little Hands At Work!
#11. When your child is exploring outside or experimenting in the basement.
Why do we give children lessons, anyway? Why do we teach? Is it not to awaken them to wonder? Is it not to ignite their appetite for discovery? Is it not to empower their drive and will? So, when a child is exploring or discovering of their own accord, we would be wise, I believe, to recognize that our role in that moment is obsolete. They require no lesson or teacher when they are acting under the guidance of their own academic counselor. The best thing we can do is to back away slowly. And then perhaps we can take the opportunity to discover something for ourselves!
#12. When there is a beautiful bird outside the window.
What good is it to read of and study on the wonders of the world while failing to witness the ones outside our own windows? If we want our children to see that education is a beautiful, liberating pursuit, then we must allow to be interrupted by examples of beauty and freedom.
Put simply, I would never want our children to recall that they were once made to remain tethered to a lesson when a bright-feathered miracle beckoned beyond the glass. How counterintuitive this would be. For alas, birds, children, and educations alike must fly free or they will lose their very spirits.
#13. When your child is writing a new chapter in his “book.”
Irony has played more than a pretty trick on me in this department. Many days have I told the Captain that “we need to do Language Arts” (what does that actually mean, anyway?) even as he is scribbling away at a new chapter of his, even pausing periodically to look up a word in his dictionary or asking me to spell a word for him. This can’t be school, can it? Oh, how blinding culture can be. We are so conditioned, so indoctrinated, to think of learning within the lines or boxes or bars of structured lessons, we can’t even see the fresh, organic ones all around!
Make no mistake, if your child is voluntarily reading to herself, you are victorious! If your child is enraptured as he scribbles off some new poem or story, you have triumphed! This is what we labor and strive for as educators; to ignite a love for learning, to inspire the spark of creativity, to feed will and motivation. Self-directed reading, studying, experimenting, exploring, and creating… these are the fruits of that faithful labor. Taste and enjoy!
#14. When there is a heart or spiritual condition to tend to.
Two lovely friends of mine on separate occasions recently related to me how they had to entirely call off school for the day in order to address something far more important than their child’s education: the child herself. Two different daughters, separated by half a dozen years and grades, struggling with two completely separate issues, yet both needed the exact same thing: their parent’s presence, attention, and above all, the assurance that agenda and achievement meant nothing in comparison to the girl herself and her personal wellbeing. I so admire these amazing moms who have gifted their daughters beautiful, rich, even rigorous educations, yet have spread over them the liberating grace to be humans before students.
How could a parent possibly manifest more love to a child than to put her heart and soul condition before and exceeding the conditioning of her mind and body?
Thank you so much for following our month of love letters to homeschool families!
Power on, power strong!
Much love, ~Candace Arden~
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