My afternoon tea was steeping on the kitchen counter. The steel strainer rested an arm over the rim of the glass cup, and a Jasmine steam rose, twisted, and billowed above, like the Heavenly Lady scattering flowers in the Peking Opera. There was nothing out of the ordinary to this beginning of my writing time ritual. Nothing, that is, until another heavenly, little lady came into the picture, lured as it seemed by the dancing aroma.
As soothing and serene as the steam itself, she stole into the kitchen, lifted a tiny silver spoon from the drawer, ascended the footstool, and began to press the tea leaves against the sides of the steel mesh. Wordlessly, she worked in a circular motion over the cup, as if moved by a music my ears could not hear. In a sort of astonished repose, I viewed the scene from my invisible post at the kitchen sink. It appeared as if she had performed this dance a thousand times, though I knew it to be her debut performance.
Once she completed her circular chassé, she dipped her head and shoulders to watch, entranced, as the darker tones of yellow and green bled into the pale infusion below. Suddenly, she placed the little spoon down onto the counter with a finishing clink. Then, as quietly as she had made her entrance, she began her retreating steps.
“When did you learn to do that?” I called after, rousing her from some dreamed existence. She looked up at me wide-eyed at first, then smiled a sweet, slightly mischievous smile. “Oh, I watch things,” she answered coyly and began to move again toward the hall. Halfway, she turned her head back, as if unable to resist a final flourish, adding with a tone of mystery, “I know lots of things you do.”
I smiled for a full minute as I held my cup of tea to my chin; the tea made all the more lovely by the hands that steeped it. “Their eyes are always present, even when ours are distant,” I mused to myself from inside the warm mist which fogged over my face. “What other habits of mine has our little golden-haired girl gleaned from me?” I wondered. My smile broadened and faded in turn as different characters made their procession across my mind.
I paused over one particularly vivid image: a tiny, dimpled, golden-tufted angel holding a wooden building block to her face, saying into it, “hewoah, hewoah, uhh-huh, uhh-huh, ohhhh kayyyyy!” Then another vision toddled past me, a vision holding the remote control, furiously working it with her thumbs, staring down at it like a unicorn might spring forth at any moment if only she solved the magic code. “What are you doing?” I remember asking her as she passed me. “Texxing Papa,” was her reply. It startles me to see it, even all these years later; a tableau as equally darling as jarring.
They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. When children are involved, not only is it the sincerest, but also the dearest and sometimes gravest. A Stephen Sondheim number comes to mind with lyrics to hasten and haunt alike any parent, teacher, or non-hermit human.
“Careful the things you do
Children will see and learn
Children may not obey, but children will listen
Children will look to you for which way to turn
To learn what to be
Careful before you say ‘Listen to me’
Children will listen.”
16 Screen-Free Tasks for the Homeschool Mom
It’s not just what we teach them directly that makes its mark, but also everything we instill indirectly, even accidentally. What message does it send to our children when we send yet another message during homeschool lessons? What meaning do they derive from being told that knowledge is beauty while watching as mom scrolls in the very face of it? Do their eyes meet attentive, inspired eyes when they pause from their test to assess us? Do their spirits feed on their mother’s own hunger for knowledge, wisdom, and beauty?
The homeschool day often includes some waiting around for the parent educator. Can we invest these precious, spare minutes into practicing and modeling a deep love for learning and life itself? Join us in making homeschool lessons a settled, savored, screen-free affair; one in which we care for our own academic, emotional, and spiritual well-beings. Our children will be so much the better for it. Indeed, we will be, too.
1.) Devote the day.
If you arise daily at 6am to greet the day with God and get in your devotional time before the kids are awake, I applaud you. I don’t understand you, but I applaud you. Feel free to skip ahead to the next Settle & Savor task idea.
For the “Morning Problems People” (represent), having our devotional time in the early hours can be a struggle. We mean to do it, of course, but there are so many morning. . . things. Sleep, for example, but also exercising and showering and dressing and breakfasting and encouraging the next generation of Morning Problems People. Often, when I sit down for homeschool lessons, I have not yet succeeded in opening my Bible and anchoring my day in God’s word.
If your kids have independent minutes in their homeschool lessons like mine do, these lovely windows of time may be the perfect time to devote your day.
2.) Pray for your kids.
Do you remember to pray for your children everyday? Or do you pray for your kids as much as you brainstorm, problem-solve, or worry about them? In full transparency, I’m not a great prayer-warrior-Mom. I practice the quick “keep my kids safe” and “Lord help me have patience” prayers, but I am not faithful in daily covering my children, their development, their education, or their well-being in prayer. This is an area of Christian motherhood that I truly desire to grow in.
Those minutes of waiting while our sons fetch their spring-loaded erasers and bungee-jumping pencils may be the perfect pauses to pray over their days, their months, their years ahead. Those blips where our daughters are coloring in the illustrations on their lesson that they seem to think is less about Language than it is about Arts could be borrowed moments to ask God’s protection and blessings over their lives.
3.) Bring a book to school.
Ok, maybe don’t bring that novel which you simply can’t put down. That could pose an entirely new problem. Instead, consider bringing that behemoth you’ve been meaning to read for the past five years or that non-fiction guide that works great as a giant sleeping pill. Bring the book to school that you need or desire to read but don’t exactly love to read.
4.) Journal your journey!
Your children aren’t the only ones growing and changing around the homeschool table. If you’ve been homeschooling for a while, you’ve probably fallen in love with a subject you hated as a child. Or you finally understand why history is actually pretty cool. Or you have begun to see that math truly does matter in the real world. Or perhaps you just see the real world a little differently now.
Record your own benchmarks. Record your own discoveries. Celebrate your own unfolding.
5.) Make the grade!
Confession: I don’t always remember to grade my son’s math homework. I know, I know. This strategy is helping me and I am on the road to recovery. Grading yesterday’s work during today’s review section is a great rule of thumb for us creative types. Exit, stage right.
6.) Write away!
Send a powerful message to your kiddos by providing an environment of love-led writing. Compose that lovely letter you’ve been fancying for a few months. Write those thank-you notes which are a few weeks late. Scribble a free-verse poem or two. Or jot down all your fabulous ideas.
7.) Get crackin’, peelin’, choppin’, or foldin’!
If God designed you heavier in practicality than whimsy, maximize your homeschool lessons by keeping your hands busy and your brain free! My mom was the master of this. During homeschool lessons, her hands never stopped moving. She would fold a basket of laundry, peel and chop a pile of potatoes, and stamp a stack of envelopes all while she read out our instructions, quizzed us on our spelling words, and explained the American constitution. In other words, she got ‘er done.
8.) Love on a Little.
Little siblings sure sweeten and complicate the homeschool day, don’t they? You don’t really have time right now to count the fruit in The Very Hungry Caterpillar with your littlest because you need to help your oldest with his Algebra. Ironically, though, you are painfully aware that Eric Carle was personally responsible for teaching your oldest to count, back when you had nothing to do but read about that insatiable, fruit-loving member of the Lepidoptera family all day long.
Whenever your older students are engaged in independent work, steal those moments to love on your little one. Read a story, color, or simply snuggle them while you read out the next set of instructions for your bigger students.
9.) Sew, mend, or knit.
Goldilocks loves to sew. She got it from Grandma, which is exactly where I take her for her weekly sewing lesson. Somehow the gene missed me. I take no pleasure in threading a needle or sewing on a button, and yet. . . I find it incredibly soothing to watch. My mom often mended at the homeschool table. She patched pants, embroidered pillows, and even finished quilts while she dictated to us. And looking back, I must say it was a very pretty and comforting picture. So, if you enjoy a good thread or yarn, bless your children with the memory of you stitching away as they complete their lessons.
10.) Hash a plan.
If you have a mind like mine, sitting still during homeschool lessons while trying to sort the seventy things which need to be tackled “after the bell,” can feel like strange and unusual punishment. It can be a load off to just pour our brains out onto a sheet of paper during a lull in lessons.
Fill in that planner, calendar, meal plan, grocery list, or running to-do. Then, step away from homeschool lessons feeling organized and focused on the hours and days ahead!
Need a weekly planning sheet? Here’s a freebie for you!
11.) Learn a term.
Become a better teacher between bits of teaching! Tackle a word a day or learn a new literary device to teach your kids tomorrow.
12.) Mama mani or massage.
If you have a girly girl who loves for you to paint her nails, this idea may be too disrupting for your student. But if you’ve got a tom boy like me who wouldn’t let you put a dab of anything pink on her pinkie even if you begged, giving yourself a little manicure may be a lovely busy-bag activity for you while you’re waiting for those fact sheets to get filled in.
If you’re not a manicure girl yourself, give yourself a little sitting massage. Rub your ears, temples, hands, or feet. Your kids may just have the most Zen teacher ever about five minutes from now.
13.) Kick it Old-School!
Make like your grandma and do the crossword, word search, or sudoku puzzle! It just feels so indulgently freeing.
14.) Get snippy!
There always seems to be a small stack of things waiting to be cut on my desk. If only there were as many items to be cut from the schedule. Bugger. One of my favorite hobbies is party and event planning, so I often have invitations to cut out. I also print a lot of cutting-required holiday and just-for-fun activities to do with the kids. If you have cutting needs like me, use the down time during homeschools lessons to get snippy with that stack!
15.) Prep School.
Use waiting time during assessments or review to get ahead on school prep. Laminate that visual, write out those flashcards, or peruse the history of the world encyclopedia for ideas for your next unit study.
16.) Sip. Settle. Savor the sunshine.
If your brain needs a break or if your kids never get to see you simply sitting still, choose to do nothing in the moments between teaching and assisting today. Challenge yourself to sit and only sit. Close your eyes. Bask in the sun-filled window. Breathe deep. Find rest. Find joy.
Feeling forgetful? Here’s our little book mark cheat for you and a friend or two! Grab this before you grab your phone!
Thank you for following our month of love letters to homeschool families! I had such a lovely time composing them.
Love, ~Candace Arden~
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